It Is Ok To Help Others Succeed

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Infinite Video Marketing I Owe My Income To These People

When Someting Works You Should Tell People…..

October 24, 2008 Posted by | Barack Obama, Family, Personal, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

Fear of failure is closely related to fear of criticism and fear of rejection.

Fear of failure is one of the greatest fears people have. Fear of failure is closely related to fear of criticism and fear of rejection. Successful people overcome their fear of failure. Fear incapacitates unsuccessful people.

The Law of Feedback states: there is no failure; there is only feedback. Successful people look at mistakes as outcomes or results, not as failure. Unsuccessful people look at mistakes as permanent and personal.

Buckminster Fuller wrote, “Whatever humans have learned had to be learned as a consequence only of trial and error experience. Humans have learned only through mistakes.”

Most people self-limit themselves. Most people do not achieve a fraction of what they are capable of achieving because they are afraid to try—because they are afraid they will fail.

Take these steps to overcome your fear of failure and move yourself forward to getting the result you desire:

Step One: Take action. Bold, decisive action. Do something scary. Fear of failure immobilizes you. To overcome this fear, you must act. When you act, act boldly.

Action gives you the power to change the circumstances or the situation. You must overcome the inertia by doing something. Dr. Robert Schuller asks, “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” What could you achieve? Be brave and just do it. If it doesn’t work out the way you want, then do something else. But DO SOMETHING NOW.

Step Two: Persist. Successful people just don’t give up. They keep trying different approaches to achieving their outcomes until they finally get the results they want. Unsuccessful people try one thing that doesn’t work and then give up. Often people give up when they are on the threshold of succeeding.

Step Three: Don’t take failure personally. Failure is about behavior, outcomes, and results. Failure is not a personality characteristic. Although what you do may not give you the result you wanted, it doesn’t mean you are a failure. Because you made a mistake, doesn’t mean that you are a failure.

Step Four: Do things differently. If what you are doing isn’t working, do something else. There is an old saying, “if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got.” If you’re not getting the results you want, then you must do something different. Most people stop doing anything at all, and this guarantees they won’t be successful.

Step Five: Don’t be so hard on yourself. Hey, if nothing else, you know what doesn’t work. Failure is a judgement or evaluation of behavior. Look at failure as an event or a happening, not as a person.

Step Six: Treat the experience as an opportunity to learn. Think of failure as a learning experience. What did you learn from the experience that will help you in the future? How can you use the experience to improve yourself or your situation? Ask yourself these questions:

(1) What was the mistake?

(2) Why did it happen?

(3) How could it have been prevented?

(4) How can I do better next time?

Then use what you learned from the experience to do things differently so you get different results next time. Learn from the experience or ignore it.

Step Seven: Look for possible opportunities that result from the experience. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, says “every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit.” Look for the opportunity and the benefit.

Step Eight: Fail forward fast. Tom Peters, the management guru, says that in today’s business world, companies must fail forward fast. What he means is that the way we learn is by making mistakes. So if we want to learn at a faster pace, we must make mistakes at a faster pace. The key is that you must learn from the mistakes you make so you don’t repeat them.

Although we all make mistakes, fear of failure doesn’t have to cripple you. As self-help author Susan Jeffers says, “feel the fear and do it anyway.”

October 6, 2008 Posted by | Family, friends, Personal, Random, Uncategorized | , , , | Leave a Comment

Conventional wisdom is that boys who grow up without fathers are at greater risk

Conventional wisdom is that boys who grow up without fathers are at greater risk of problems, from doing poorly in school to substance abuse. So how does that account for the high-profile successes of standouts such as presidential candidate Barack Obama, Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps and others who were reared by single mothers?

For decades, researchers have said children from two-parent families do better than those raised by a single parent. That’s still true, they say. But newer research pokes holes into that all-or-nothing approach, says fatherhood expert Michael Lamb, a psychology professor at the University of Cambridge in England.

“The key point is yes, there is a risk,” he says. “But it’s not really a risk inherent in the single-parent family, per se. You can’t assume that every child raised by a single parent is going to have difficulties. The majority don’t.”

Lamb says that decades ago, researchers were concerned about risks to children, and “their concerns were driven by a lot of cultural assumptions, which led them to propose kids are better off in the traditional family.”

“The evidence, on the whole, hasn’t supported that, but the beliefs have persisted in society,” he says.

Another expert on fatherhood, sociologist Tim Biblarz of the University of Southern California-Los Angeles, says the evidence shows economics plays a significant role in the risk for negative outcomes, such as poorer grades and lower educational attainment, substance abuse or poor social adjustment.

“Those who grow up with single mothers with adequate socioeconomic resources tend to do well. The children of poor single mothers are more at risk,” Biblarz says. “Many of the results that say that kids are at increased risk for negative outcomes have to do with economics.”

According to the most recent data for 2007 from the U.S. Census, 8.4 million boys under 18 were living with a single mother. That’s 22% of all boys in that age group in the USA.

Lamb says children do better if they have a good relationship with the in-home parent, as well as if the parents have low conflict; if the parent has economic resources; and if children have individual resilience to adverse circumstances.

“What’s important is not whether they are raised by one or two parents. It’s how good is the relationship with the parent, how much support they’re getting from that parent and how harmonious is the environment.

“In the case of Obama, his mother was not particularly well off, though she was well-resourced intellectually and had been to college and had supportive parents,” Lamb says.

Michael Kimmel, a sociologist and gender studies expert at Stony Brook University in New York, says the resident parent has a huge effect.

“We see constantly children of single-parent families who thrive because the parents are so devoted because they’re compensating for the absence of the other parent,” he says.

But Biblarz says the idea “that boys in particular need fathers in the way girls need mothers” doesn’t hold true.

“I can tell you there’s almost no evidence supporting that,” he says. “For a variety of reasons, children who grow up with single fathers, for example, are at higher risk than those who grow up with single mothers for either sex.”

In the case of swimmer Phelps, mothers such as Debbie Phelps have the right approach, says Peggy Drexler, author of the 2005 book Raising Boys Without Men.

“Phelps was born with a gift that his mother nurtured,” says Drexler, an assistant professor of psychology at Cornell University’s Weill Medical College in New York City.

Such mothers “don’t hold them back,” she says. “They encourage their talents, and drive and encourage independence and a sense of adventure.”

October 3, 2008 Posted by | Barack Obama, Family, friends, Obama, Personal | , | Leave a Comment

   

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.